From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
