TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
