when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
