didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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