theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize