You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
