She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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