Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I am spending my child support on dildos
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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