your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
