you guys were way drunker than both of me
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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