Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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