New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
