what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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