I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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