well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
