mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
