it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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