last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize