i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
