I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
