Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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