You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
