..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
