Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize