What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
