so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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