All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
