At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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