weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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