I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
