Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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