If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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