And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
