I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
