just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
