Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
