last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
