I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
