Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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