I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Can I color on your dick again?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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