I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
