The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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