I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
