That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
