Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
