none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
