I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
