I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
