I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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