Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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