i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
