4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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