i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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