i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
