the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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