I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
