You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Your cock deserves a montage
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
