you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
