I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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