dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
