You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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