I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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