I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
