Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
