hell yes lets make some ravioli
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
